Mister, Stop Moving Like Prey...

Probably a weekly occurrence in our house is Mister, the eldest, getting chased around the house mercilessly by one of the other three boys.  Sometimes they gang up on him--usually Reggie and Elroy together.  What's interesting about this is that we have absolutely no idea why it happens.  It's not like Mister is doing anything to encourage this kind of behavior on the part of his brethren.  Best I can tell, he doesn't do the kitty equivalent of "nanny nanny boo boo," or call their mommas dirty names.  As a matter of fact, Mister pretty much keeps to himself, interacting primarily with the two humans and leaving everyone else alone.  

So what could be the cause?  It's not like the other cats don't have plenty of other opportunities to chase one another--Reggie and Elroy chase each another all the time, and Otto and Wanda have been known to do the same.  (Mostly they just play that game with us, though.)   How come Mister is getting the brunt of the chasing (and does not appear, by any definition of the word, to be enjoying himself when it happens)? 

After much deliberation, and after watching a few of these debacles unfold, Sean and I came up with a theory:  when Mister is stressed out, he moves like prey.  

This is how it usually goes down:  Mister will be minding his own beeswax, lying under the computer table or out on the screened-in back porch.  One of the other cats decides that he is bored.  Mister notices the other cat looking at him, and immediately shifts into slow motion.  His eyes move slower, his head moves slower, and slowly he starts slinking along the floor.  He does this nonchalantly, mind you, but tension is evident in his every fiber.  He's a veritable ball of fluffy gray and white tension, trying to blend in with the (much less tense) furniture.  And for some reason, the other male cats find this absolutely irresistible.  So, there's a butt-wiggle, and eventually, some pouncing and a bunch of wild scratching motions.  Most of the time, we have to go break it up, because Mister usually ends up cornered on top of the couch or in the basement or something.  And all because Mister cannot just move like a normal cat and get the heck out of Dodge.  

One time, Sean decided to be Mister's fighting-back coach.  We figured if Mister could open a can of Whoop A** just one time, maybe the other cats would leave him alone.  (That's the way it always works on the After-School Specials, right?)  So the next time Reggie decided to be a pill, Sean said to Mister:  "Mister, you don't have to take that.  You stand up to him and show him who's boss!"  There was dead silence.  Mister was completely still.  Reggie was completely still.  Sean kept encouraging Mister (or egging him on, I guess, depending on how you look at it):  "come on, Mister!  You can do it!"  And slowly, Mister put his head down and advanced a step, towards Reggie.  Reggie looked a bit taken aback, but on the whole, fairly nonplussed by this development.  Mister took another step forward, more confidently this time.  Reggie took the tiniest little step back.  Mister, advancing.  Reggie, retreating.  Finally, Mister was within striking distance, and had gotten Reggie backed up into a corner.  A couple of quick swats (neither of them connecting to Reggie, but that wasn't important) and the confrontation was over.  Just like that.  Mister had emerged victorious!  All he needed was a little support and the knowledge that someone believed in him...And Mister never had to deal with the cats bullying him again.

Okay, that last sentence wasn't true--that was just left-over from the After-School Specials.  Mister still gets chased and bullied all the time, I'm sad to say.  But I like to believe that maybe, in some small way, Sean did give him a little more confidence.  And now, even when he's getting chased, he knows that he's making a choice to be chased.  He can open that can of Whoop A** any time he needs to.   He's just above all that, and chooses not to.