"If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them." Phil Pastoret
Believe it or not, cats can keep track of that kind of stuff, too. Only usually it's more about who's getting more treats, more mush, or more time with the Big Buddies.
When I was a kid, all I ever heard from my parents was how "fairly" they treated my sister and me. I put "fairly" in quotes there, because that was what they actually said, but it really did seem to be true. For Christmas, they made sure that we each got exactly the same amount of presents--to the dollar, almost. If they couldn't make it exactly fair with gifts, then they'd give us money to even things out. I used to roll my eyes about this a lot--who cared if my sister got one more toy than me, or one more thing in her stocking? My parents did. And they made sure that the dreaded Inequity never, ever happened.
You can take that whole story and put it in present tense really, because my parents still do that, and I still roll my eyes about it a little, as does my sister (I suspect). But the impulse behind it is good. There's something really uncomfortable about the possibility that you might be favoring one child over another--it's like it's upsetting some balance in the Universe or something. Which is exactly how I feel every single time I close the door to the guest room on Reggie's eager nose, in order to give extra mush to Mister.
Not that I'm trying to elicit any undue sympathy here, but it kind of feels like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place these days. If I bite the bullet and just tackle Mister and squeeze the Resthyro drops into his mouth, and then give him treats afterward, he hates me for several hours. After one of these injustices, I walk into the room and he looks at me pointedly and then dives under the bed. If I relent, and give him the Resthyro in his mush (which is what he wants), and don't give the other kitties any mush, then they all hate me for hours. And if I give them all mush (which they all want), then I'm contributing to their already expanding rear-ends, which isn't healthy for any of them (except Mister of course). Let's face it, the last time I tried to play with the feather toy with Reggie, he rolled over on his back and batted at the toy with all the energy and panache of a beached whale. He certainly needs to be taking advantage of the diet food we've been feeding him. Which he does, in very large quantities.
So with one tactic, I tick off Mister. With the other, I tick off Otto, Wanda, Reggie and Elroy. And what I've learned from all of this is that it's hard to be a parent. No matter how you slice it, you're going to end up being a little less "fair" with one kid and a little more "fair" with another. It's not that you don't love them all equally (because I do), it's just that at certain times, under certain circumstances, you're going to have to give a little more attention and a little more _____________(fill in the blank) to one kid than another, for their own good, because they need it. And the other kids just aren't going to understand. I go out of my way to give extra love and attention to the other buddies when Mister has been treated with mush and they haven't, but sometimes I think all the attention in the world won't make up for their not getting the mush treat along with Mister that night. It's these hard choices that make us better Big Buddies, I guess.
But that doesn't mean I have to like it.
When I was a kid, all I ever heard from my parents was how "fairly" they treated my sister and me. I put "fairly" in quotes there, because that was what they actually said, but it really did seem to be true. For Christmas, they made sure that we each got exactly the same amount of presents--to the dollar, almost. If they couldn't make it exactly fair with gifts, then they'd give us money to even things out. I used to roll my eyes about this a lot--who cared if my sister got one more toy than me, or one more thing in her stocking? My parents did. And they made sure that the dreaded Inequity never, ever happened.
You can take that whole story and put it in present tense really, because my parents still do that, and I still roll my eyes about it a little, as does my sister (I suspect). But the impulse behind it is good. There's something really uncomfortable about the possibility that you might be favoring one child over another--it's like it's upsetting some balance in the Universe or something. Which is exactly how I feel every single time I close the door to the guest room on Reggie's eager nose, in order to give extra mush to Mister.
Not that I'm trying to elicit any undue sympathy here, but it kind of feels like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place these days. If I bite the bullet and just tackle Mister and squeeze the Resthyro drops into his mouth, and then give him treats afterward, he hates me for several hours. After one of these injustices, I walk into the room and he looks at me pointedly and then dives under the bed. If I relent, and give him the Resthyro in his mush (which is what he wants), and don't give the other kitties any mush, then they all hate me for hours. And if I give them all mush (which they all want), then I'm contributing to their already expanding rear-ends, which isn't healthy for any of them (except Mister of course). Let's face it, the last time I tried to play with the feather toy with Reggie, he rolled over on his back and batted at the toy with all the energy and panache of a beached whale. He certainly needs to be taking advantage of the diet food we've been feeding him. Which he does, in very large quantities.
So with one tactic, I tick off Mister. With the other, I tick off Otto, Wanda, Reggie and Elroy. And what I've learned from all of this is that it's hard to be a parent. No matter how you slice it, you're going to end up being a little less "fair" with one kid and a little more "fair" with another. It's not that you don't love them all equally (because I do), it's just that at certain times, under certain circumstances, you're going to have to give a little more attention and a little more _____________(fill in the blank) to one kid than another, for their own good, because they need it. And the other kids just aren't going to understand. I go out of my way to give extra love and attention to the other buddies when Mister has been treated with mush and they haven't, but sometimes I think all the attention in the world won't make up for their not getting the mush treat along with Mister that night. It's these hard choices that make us better Big Buddies, I guess.
But that doesn't mean I have to like it.
Sounds like you appreciate your parents efforts a little bit more, which I think is a good thing. But yes, I have a hard time with this as well. Buffy has to take meds, and yep, Willow gets treats too. But Buffy is the one with the weight problem, so there are times Willow can have a treat but Buffy really shouldn't. It's a conundrum!
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